to finish its scanning, so expect it to end abruptly.

It stands to reason that 2 people who were in love, after a few years apart might have those feelings change. It also might be possible that after seeing each other those feelings could change, again.

Strangely enough, it stands to reason that the opposite could very likely hold true as well.

Then theres love. Love comes in so many forms and varieties. Its an ambiguous term, unfortunately. You love your friends, you love your family, you love your boyfriend, you love your husband, you love your soulmate. Yes, if you're lucky those last 3 are exactly the same but for the majority of people thats not the case, and thats why the divorce rate is somewhere around 50%. You love your boy/girlfriend fleetingly, you love your husband because its the status quo, you're used to it, and you love  your soulmate unconditionally and unequivocally. I'm starting to sound like that dumb bitch from Twilight.

Its funny, I wish I had a waterproof computer. A LARGE LARGE portion of my musings come to me in the shower. I never remember them afterwards. I write down the few I can for my olog but I don't feel like making a video.

Madness!

WOW!!! WOW WOW

Watching CSI NY, right? And they're having an episode with the suicide girls, if you dont know who they are, look it up. Anyway, one of them was murdered so they're questioning them. Guess what one of them is named? Razzi!!! Subtract a Z and you get Razi. FML!! I can't escape it.

This is not an olog. This is just a video I made, and am ashamed of


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKcwDAJfPSE

First - If you're reading this through facebook and haven't figured it out yet, facebook auto imports from my livejournal, GG

Second - New Olog http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_-EJ5hinzM

I'm thinking of starting a Video blog. Thoughts?

I was just watching comedy central, and I never realized it before but this happens often. I'm watching a comedian, laughing my ass off. I love comedy central presents. Then comes an add for ASPCA, or...HELP THIS CHILD! HE HAS NO FOOD. And Im like, WTF I WAS JUST HAPPY NOW IM SAD.

Why do they do that? Get that stuff off comedy central :(

And its a good thing I do, because I have no one to talk to most of the time. Well, no one to talk to about personal stuff. I just went on to facebook to figure out how to make it stop importing notes from here but I cant figure it out. Oh well.

I have been good lately. I haven't sent her any texts or facebook messages. Not only that but I haven't even looked at her facebook. Until today. I checked her facebook really quick today. I feel like I let myself down. The good part about it is that I sulked for a couple minutes, then my dad called and asked me to bring my laundry down. So I brought down the laundry, picked up the mail, and talked to my dad about our comcast service...phone, internet, and and television. It wasn't until I came upstairs and grabbed a drink from my mini fridge and caught a glimpse of the hair straightener she left in what is essentially our guest room that I remembered I was supposed to be feeling bad. So, while at times she may depress me it no longer resonates with me. I think tomorrow I might leave an LJ window open all day and type my thoughts as they occur. Like twitter but crappy. Also - http://twitter.com/mboudreau 

She changed her profile picture. She had changed it before, but to an old one. These pictures are new. I suppose that means she's settled in where-ever she is. Unpacked most of her stuff. I could be a really go detective, or a stalker...Where's the line? She cracking a half smile, but she looks so empty. So unhappy. Maybe that's just my subjective interpretation, because I sort of hope she is. She's still wearing that collar, too. Well in one of the pictures. In the other she isn't, I just noticed, and my heart honestly sank. I suck.

Though, When I look at a picture of her, or read something she's written, I don't really feel anything towards it. Part of the reason might be that during BCT I looked at her picture every day, many times a day. I just, honestly, don't find her pretty anymore. That happens to me a lot actually. I guess its part of being over-analytical. Anyway. I'm serious. Sometimes it looks like she has a lazy eye. ANYWAY that's not the point. If i start pointing out all the flaws I notice I'll start to sound bitter. It hurts more that she won't talk to me anymore for no reason than it does that she dumped my ass. I couldn't imagine our future together. We're very very different people. Out of respect for her privacy (I don't know why) I can't go into how crazy she is but take my word for it. Yes, I'm crazy too, but its a different crazy.

I still miss you
And everything we've been through
From the kiss
To all the times you got pissed

Does it still haunt you
To think of what I meant to you
Do you wish now that you can take this back

I always said I'd be there for you, always
I always said that I'd be there with you

Chorus:
I hope that you remember me
You and in love at Seventeen

I hope that this is what you want
I hope that this is what I want

You talk, talk, talk like nothing's wrong
And all my feelings have gone numb
I can't believe that I still miss you now
 
Almost three years
And the feeling is still there

You keep finding me
With these open arms

And your tattoos remind me of the time
When we said goodbye
This isn't goodbye

Chorus:
I always said I'd be there for you always
I always said that I'd be there with you

I hope that you remember me
Young and in love at Seventeen

I hope that this is what you want
I hope that this is what I want

You talk, talk, talk like nothing's wrong
And all my feelings have gone numb
I can't believe that I still miss you now

(Repeat Chorus)

I'm lookin for a way out of this
You took the words right from my lips
I'm looking for a way out of this
So I can throw caution to the wind (x2)
 

As I climb up to your bed
My name in stars above your head
This is the worst feeling yet
I guess that this is what I get
For all the nights and Fights for love
I gave it all, all my heart
And every word that you said,
I know that I won't forget

Yeah

I know I wont forget
I know I wont forget

(Repeat Chorus)

I always said I'd be there for you.



Prettttty dead on. FML

Je-sus Christ,

Are you people stupid? I know what intuition is, morons. What I'm saying is...perhaps there is a biophysical reasoning behind it that no one has looked into before.

I'm thinking outside the box, being somewhat insightful.

MY GOD. Stop being so dumb.

I'm sure, there are a lot of relationships (of various types) in my past that I'm sure people regret because I've done some awful things...but there are very few in retrospect that I regret. ENTER RAZI

No, I can't go into detail out of respect because she told me a lot of stuff in confidence and I'm just not that kind of guy (some people might find that hilarious and wrong because I've done some things out of spite/revenge). But man, that bitch is CAH-RAZY. certifiably.

I've come to realize this. thank goodness for that.